Rust
by Poemwriter98
Summary: Merlin is suffering as a young warlock and Arthur's servant. Will anything relieve his suffering? I don't own anyone.
1. Chapter 1

Merlin's POV:

I pushed the sleeve of my tunic up to my elbow, revealing the scars that lined my arm, some pale and fading, some bright, like they had just been born yesterday. I glanced towards the door, listening to make sure that no one would come in and I was safe. I held up a small knife that I had brought from home, and looked at the small blade. It didn't look dangerous, it looked slightly sharp, but not like it could kill a man. Not like Arthur's weaponry, which could end a life with one blow. I traced my finger along the edge, feeling the sharpness that was nothing compared to the way Arthur treated me. His words hurt worse then if he took out his sword and ran it straight into my heart. I took the knife and traced it on my arm, carving out the pain that I felt. The blood trickled from my arm; it's rusty smell assaulting my nose. I closed my eyes, reveling in what I had just done and feeling sick to my stomach because I had sunk to this level. I wiped the blood away with a rag I kept under my mattress, and then pulled my tunic sleeve down again. Hiding the knife under my mattress, I walked out to the main room, where Gaius was.

"Breakfast is ready, Merlin." Gaius said, gesturing towards the table.

"Thank you, Gaius, but I better go before Arthur gets angry." I muttered, walking out the door. I walked quickly towards Arthur's room, hoping he wouldn't be too irritated with me. I gently knocked on the door, heard Arthur's strong voice say, come in, and entered, rather reluctantly.

"There you are, Merlin!" Arthur said.

"Hello, sire. How are you today?" I asked, feeling tired.

"I am well. Now, I need you to tidy up. Merlin, are you paying attention?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, sire." I droned, my head feeling fuzzy. The world felt weird, kind of blurry and it twisted around me.

"Merlin?" Arthur's voice was closer, and high up, it seemed. At that moment, blissful darkness took over and I was tucked underneath a blanket of inky black.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur's POV:

Merlin was late, as usual. I looked around my chamber, irritation at his lateness filling my mind. I waited and waited for him to show up, and right when I was about to go find him, he did show up.

"Merlin, there you are. Where the bloody hell have you been?" I asked.

"Sorry, Sire." Merlin quietly replied. He looked a bit off today, a bit worn.

"Merlin, this place needs to be tidied up. Are you paying attention?" I said.

"Yes, Sire." Merlin muttered. The look on Merlin's face changed subtly, almost imperceptibly, and I was worried. He had looked irritated, confused, happy and worried around me, but never had he looked like this. His eyes fluttered weakly against his face, the pallor of which was quite alarming. I couldn't understand what was wrong. As I was contemplating the many things that could be wrong with him, his eyes closed and he sank to the ground.

"Merlin!" I gasped, shocked that he had actually fallen down. I kneeled next to him, pressing my hand against his forehead. He felt cold, as if Death was ready to take him away. I lifted him up, frantically looking for somewhere to put him. I finally decided that I didn't care if he was a servant, so I placed him on my bed. I surveyed him, searching for any sign of what could have happened to make him like this. I noticed that the left sleeve of his tunic was damp, but the right one was perfectly dry. I gently eased the tunic off of him, and looked at his left arm. What I saw was so shocking that I almost started crying. Merlin's arm was a myriad of wounds, some a shocking scarlet color and others a faded, pearly pink. The newest, which had probably happened before he came here, were leaking blood. I was immensely worried but also frustrated.

"Merlin, what caused you to do this?" I asked. Merlin wouldn't respond, but it made me feel better. I went over and found a rag and a bucket of water, and dipped the rag in, gently wiping the blood off of Merlin's arm, all the while wondering what caused him to do this. I cleaned Merlin's wounds, and then bound the wounds in clean cloth. I sat down next to Merlin, waiting for him to awaken. I watched him sleep, then his fist clenched in his sleep, and his brow wrinkled.

"No, Arthur, no, please don't hurt me!" Merlin whimpered.

"Merlin, why would I hurt you?" I whispered.

"Because you found out my secret." Merlin murmured.

"What secret?" I asked.

"I love you." Merlin whispered, still asleep.

"I won't hurt you, Merlin. I love you too." I softly said. I watched and waited for Merlin to wake up, smiling at him. Merlin woke up soon, and he immediately looked at his arm. He then looked at me, his eyes wide.

"I'm sorry, Arthur." Merlin whispered.

"Sorry for what? Scaring me half to death?" I replied.

"Well, yeah." Arthur said.

"It's alright. You made up for it for the fact that you talk in your sleep." I answered.

"What did I say?" Merlin said, a look of worry taking over his face.

"That you loved me." I whispered.

"Oh, no. Uh…I'm sorry, Sire." Merlin quietly said, dropping his face into his hands.

"Merlin, it's perfectly fine. I…I love you too." I whispered.

"You do?" Merlin said, his eyes wide.

"I do." I said, leaning towards him. His eyes closed, and I pressed my lips gently against his. After a moment, we broke apart, and Merlin's head rested softly against my chest.

"I was so scared, Arthur, that you'd find out and be angry." Merlin said.

"I wouldn't be angry about that. But, why have you been cutting yourself, Merlin?" I inquired.

"Because of that, partly." Merlin answered.

"What's the other reason?" I said.

"Arthur, there are some secrets that I can't tell you, not yet. I'm sorry." Merlin whispered.

"Alright, Merlin." I answered.

"Arthur…why do you say the things that you do? Why were you so cruel to me?" Merlin inquired.

"I didn't want people to think I was attracted to you, Merlin, I had to treat you like I would treat anyone else." I said.

"That's understandable. Arthur, do you agree with Uther about sorcery?" Merlin whispered.

"No, I don't. Sorcery is not universally evil. It depends on who is using it." I replied.

"So, if I was to tell you I was a sorcerer, would you think of me as evil?" Merlin asked.

"No, probably not. Are you a sorcerer?" I inquired.

"Yes, Arthur, I am." Merlin whispered.

"How long have you been studying magic?" I asked.

"I've never studied magic, Arthur. What I have, I was born with." I replied.

"Born with?" I questioned, feeling confused. I had been taught that sorcery was learned, that no one could be born with it. But this amazing man, that I loved-he said he was. It gave me a lot to think about.


End file.
